How To Ruin Your Grades With Mental Illness (in Eight Easy Steps!)
Step 1. Naively assume that one completely free evening is enough time to write a measly three-page paper that you’ve already done all the reading for.
Step 2. Start freaking out about some tiny little thing and end up spending that entire evening crying.
Step 3. Attempt to distract yourself out of it so you can write the stupid paper, except you can’t, because it’s a mental illness.
Step 4. Cry.
Step 5. Cry more.
Step 6. Check the syllabus and see that the professor requires “documentation” in the case of an emergency that keeps you from finishing your paper on time. A “real” medical emergency means you can get a doctor’s note, but who goes to see a doctor when the only problem is they can’t stop crying?
Step 7. Accept that you’re going to take a grade deduction and turn your paper in late.
Step 8. Congratulations! You have now ruined your grade for this class, which will consist of just two papers and one exam, because you have a mental illness.
